In the early years, once Michael and I discovered our relationship was in trouble and in need of repair, neither of us knew having fun was a part of the rebuilding process. Couples need to take a break every now and then from the intensity of the healing process, just to learn how to enjoy each other and play. We always suggest couples have a date night once a week and take short vacations together.
In our case, Michael and I had rarely taken vacations because we were both fearful of spending too much time together. In order to get reacquainted with one another, we started by taking week-end trips alone together to the seashore or the hill country. At first it was hard because we had to really talk to one another! There wasn’t anything to distract us from our relationship. Instead we had to work on communicating, listening, negotiating and really being there for each other. Eventually we began to really enjoy each other on date nights and mini vacations.
Today, we often take small trips for the sheer pleasure of just being alone together. We also continue to have a date night each week. One week Michael is responsible for planning our date while the following week, the way we spend our night out is up to me. We’ve had some great new experiences together and experimented with different leisure activities over the years.
During the healing process, playtime brings a break of lightness into the relationship. Once intimacy is established together time keeps the relationship fresh. It’s important to remember that we are never too old to play and that learning how to enjoy life with a partner builds healthy intimacy.
It’s All Right to Have Fun in a Relationship
By Carla Wills-Brandon
Relationship Tidbit #12